My Movement My Way with Lifestyle Photographer Charlotte Knee
My passion is helping women find their fitness mojo. My blog series ‘My Movement My Way’ shares stories about inspiring women and their relationship with exercise. My aim is to tell a variety of stories that challenge the dominant narratives that exist in the fitness industry and wider society. As a personal trainer with ten years experience I have seen the impact these narratives have on how women engage with exercise and how, often, this makes us feel excluded and intimidated. I hope that by hearing these stories more women will feel encouraged to move more and find some form of activity that they enjoy.
My latest interview is with Charlotte Knee. Charlotte is a busy mum of two small children and juggles family life with running her own photography business in Tonbridge, Kent. Charlotte has been a keen runner since school and so it would be easy to pigeon-hole Charlotte as someone who finds it easy to exercise and comfortably fits into a sports environment. Of course, dig a little deeper and things are never what they seem. I asked Charlotte the same three questions I ask to all my interviewees.
How has your relationship with exercise changed as you have grown up?
It has changed quite a bit as I have got older. At school I was good at sport but that came with a lot of anxiety about being good enough. I was good at running and used to run competitively, but the pressure ruined my enjoyment, so I ended up having a love/hate relationship with it. If I had to compete or do a cross country run, I made sure I came last. There was just too much pressure when I was younger to be the best and this made me not want to run at all. I think there may have been a competition when I did something wrong or embarrassed myself in some way. I didn’t run for a long time after this. I didn’t want to stand out.
This all changed when I went to university and I decided I wanted to do some exercise. I thought I’d join a netball club. I felt totally out of place, was really intimidated and everyone seemed extremely cliquey. Thankfully, I lived with a girl who liked to run so we supported each other and started venturing out for little jogs. I saw it more as a social thing and found that my enjoyment of running came back.
Without the pressure I could see the pleasure in running, unlike when I was at school. This time it was running on my own terms. I started doing a few 10k races and not long after that I joined a running club. That’s when running started to become a part of my life again. The running was also a brilliant way to meet people. I started feeling fit and tuning in with how good running made me feel, mentally and physically.
This was all brilliant until I got pregnant with my first child. I ran a little bit but was really nervous about what I should be doing, so I stopped. It was impossible to find the time to run when I was pregnant with my second, so I had a period of a few years, with young children where I didn’t run at all.
My body had changed a lot through two pregnancies and I had the classic mum feeling of feeling that I didn’t really know who I was any more. I really wanted to run again, running was so much a part of my identity and I felt I had lost a big part of myself. I managed to get out running again by going to Parkrun Tonbridge and I loved the sense of community. I’m quite competitive so it wasn’t too long before I decided I needed the extra push and joined a local running club.
Now I have two children under 5, running has taken on a whole new meaning for me. It’s ‘me’ time. I can leave the house with no interruptions and no one asking anything of me. I don’t listen to music I just zone out. It’s quite medidative really as after a while I find I catalogue my thoughts.
It’s been brilliant for my mental health since lockdown. I have been in the house with the children, feeding and looking after everyone and by 3pm, I am done! It’s great on the days I have been able to put a movie on for the kids, leave their dad in charge and go out for a run. It has given me a sense of freedom. Running like this feels different. I leave the house without a plan of where I am going or for how long, I just find a footpath and see where it takes me.
What are your current motivations and challenges?
The club running is really motivating. The coach gets to know you and you can see yourself improve. Seeing progress is motivating in itself. It’s a different kind of pressure to what I had at school, it’s a good pressure. I want to improve and I know I have support to do that. Running now feels like my little project and I’m really motivated to see how well I can do. I am also competitive with others, but as an adult, this is a positive feeling.
I exercise for headspace now, the mental side of it is so important. It is my time to feel free and switch off. I also love food, so if I was totally honest with myself it also helps me to keep a bit of balance!
My big challenge is time, as I’m sure it is for all mums. I have mum guilt, I have wife guilt and I’m very aware that my running must not dominate what the others need or want. But there’s room for all of us to get a night to do their own thing.
I should just say, even though I love running I still struggle with motivation. If I can give myself a couple of excuses, I’ll talk myself out of it. My strategy is to get ready early. If I have my kit on there’s much less chance of me backing out.
What would you say to your younger self about exercise?
Part of me wishes I’d pushed through the nervousness to see how far I could have got. If I had somebody to say “come on you can do this!”. Maybe I could have been really good if I had been pushed. Hindsight is a wonderful thing.
Charlotte Knee is a Kent Photographer based in Tonbridge. She specialises in Author and Talent headshots, along with Personal Branding shoots for small businesses. Charlotte's work is natural and authentic and she prides herself in making her subjects feel at ease in front of the camera. She also shoots Family and Newborn Portraits.