How do you feel about your body?
Guest blog by Ela Law Nutrition
We probably all want to be a little happier with our bodies, and if you have children (in particular girls) you wish for them to grow up with no hang-ups about how they look and without continuously trying to make their bodies smaller. In today’s society that is no mean feat, and the messages we get, in particular online and through social media, mostly seem to promote a body ‘ideal’ that few can achieve.
“Building resilience against these harmful messages is so important, for ourselves as well as the generation that follows”
I have come up with 5 tips to develop a better body image for you!
But first, let’s explore some terminology: Body respect – body positivity – body acceptance – body neutrality.
These terms are often used interchangeably, but there is a lot of nuance to them.
They all have an underlying theme, though: they involve rejecting the idea that smaller bodies are better bodies and healthier by default, they acknowledge that every body can be healthy, regardless of size, they assume self-care and self-compassion as a key component and they allow for emotions and feelings about our bodies to be validated.
Body positivity
In its essence it means that we should love and accept ALL bodies, but if you are coming from a place of disliking or even hating your body, body positivity and loving your body can be challenging. Body positivity started as a political movement that was giving people in larger bodies a voice and validation, but has since been co-opted by the wellness industry.
Body respect
Respecting your body can be as simple as making sure you feed yourself regularly and enough, have regular health checks, move your body in a way that feels appropriate to you, get enough rest and sleep, clean/wash it. These are basic self-care measures, to which you can add anything that shows your body respect. You may wish to explore this by making a list of everything your body enables you to do, feel, see, smell, or experience.
Body acceptance and neutrality
This is the most difficult to achieve: accepting the body you have can be hard, especially if you have fought with it for a long time. You may still have an image of your ‘ideal’ body in your mind and letting go of that can be upsetting and uncomfortable. Accepting these feelings is an important first step, and working on reframing any negative thoughts you have about yourself is a great way of building up to acceptance and neutrality.
5 tips to work towards a better body image
Wear comfortable and well-fitting clothes, let go of clothes that are too small (and maybe never really fit well); don’t keep them for the ‘just in case I lose some weight’ moment, they won’t make you feel good and feed into your body dissatisfaction. If money is tight, just buying some well-fitting underwear can make a huge difference to how you feel!
Stop comparing your body to those of others – remember what you see on social media or on the telly is NOT what the majority of people look like, remind yourself that fitting into the box of society’s ‘beauty standards’ does NOT make you a nicer or better person, more deserving of love and acceptance, or morally superior. YOU are deserving of love, affection, respect, not because of how you look but because of you being an amazing human being.
Start doing some regular body image activities. You could write a letter to your body, either thanking it for all the wonderful things it does for you, or, if you are feeling brave, apologising for how you treated or spoke about it in the past. One of my favourite activities is to write a list of 10 fabulous things about yourself (include physical appearance as well as character traits, ask your loved ones what they love about you and add that to the list!)
Stop body bashing – including your own. We are always quick with the self-deprecating comments, but would we say what we say to ourselves to our friends? Make a list of every negative thought or belief that pops into your head, either about your body or that of someone else. Explore how it makes you feel, sit with the discomfort, reflect on the language you use and try to reframe some of the negative words you use to describe your and others’ bodies.
Check the social media accounts you follow: How do they portray bodies? Do you get diversity in your feed? Are all bodies valued or do you get a lot of people who look the same? Watch out for people promoting meal plans, detoxes, lifestyle changes, before and after photos, or telling you when, where and how to eat. Unfollow, delete and weed out anything that makes you feel your body is not as good or valuable. (for some ideas of great accounts to follow, click here to get to my resources list)
“Developing body respect and body acceptance is challenging but it is the most liberating thing if you are willing to put in some hard work. ”
This kind of work is best done with a coach or counsellor to guide you on your journey, and if you are interested in finding out more about how I can support you, please get in touch.
Ela Law, Nutritionist (ANutr), Certified Intuitive Eating Counsellor and Baby-led Weaning Specialist.
Ela’s approach is aligned with the HAES® movement, which is inclusive of all body sizes and challenges social structures that discriminate against people based on social and cultural characteristics. She uses the principles of Intuitive Eating to guide clients away from the pitfalls of diet culture and help them make peace with food, reject diet mentality thinking and develop a new understanding of their bodies and needs. Her sessions with clients can be online or face-to-face (Sevenoaks and Bexley), and she has an online course on baby-led weaning.